Category: paradigm shift

The Day a Stranger Fed My Soul: feedback from a follower

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Why is it that we learn the most about a person’s impact on the world after they die? I started to think more and more about this following the death of rapper Nipsey Hussel. To be honest, I had no clue about who he was prior to his death. I only knew who he was after my cousin told me the news and referred to him as “Lauren London’s boyfriend”. Then for weeks as the world prepared to say their last goodbyes to Hussel, I witnessed how many people were truly touched by/mourning his death; celebrities and common-folk alike. I also learned about all of the amazing things that he did for his community and I was inspired. Now this piece is not at all about the latest news in Hip-hop culture. It is however, about the need for us as a people to tell our friends, our loved ones, or even a stranger how they touch our lives… while they exist with us here on earth. This was my experience twice in the past week (this happened in April) where I was on the receiving end of feedback. First happening during a “catch-up” date with a dear friend. My friend opened up to me about the way she viewed me and how I inspired her, and I cried. Hearing what she felt about me was different, a little uncomfortable, and heartwarming all at the same time.

And here’s my gal Nicole… or Kneecole as I often call her. A close friend of many years whom I’ve shared the realest chats with. She can be a little on the shy side so I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing her with you. But she’s been a great support to me for many years, during my toughest times, and I’d scream it from a roof top lol đź’™ This is us mingling with the locals on a girls trip in Belize, Fall 2018.

Following the date with my friend, I asked myself why I felt any discomfort during our chat. After all we have been close friends since childhood. I came to realize that I felt weird about receiving positive feedback because I don’t get such genuine recognition enough. I also cried because my friend’s words spoke to my soul and in summary told me to keep pushing because I was doing something right. For some time I have asked mother universe, what is my purpose? who do people understand me to be? and what mark will I leave on the  world when my body leaves this earth? Very deep questions, I know but I cannot carry-on in this life without confirmation. And my interaction with my friend was just that. Recently, mother universe again sent me what I asked for…. soul food and feedback; coming by way of a complete stranger in my inbox. The writer wrote:

Tanisha,

I just read your latest post and you are amazing. I first read one of your posts around 2 years ago. I was at one of the lowest points in my life. At that point I had been teaching for about 18 years. I loved the children I taught for years, and for years that kept me there. Then my job started affecting my life and my parenting. One morning when I was really feeling helpless I read your blog about giving everything up and traveling with your daughter. It gave me hope.

Through all my years (in our hometown), I knew your dad. It took me awhile to make the connection. When I saw his picture with your daughter the other day I figured out you were his daughter. Through my 18 years I would see your dad and he always spoke of you. He was always so proud of you and your accomplishments. The year I read your blog I started therapy and gained enough confidence to look for another job after 18 years. I ended up getting a position I love, 6 minutes from my house. I am happy and love my profession again. One day, my son was running a (track & field) meet. I saw your dad and we caught up for awhile. I told him I was looking for a job and he was talking about you and when you used to run. He cheered so loudly for my son that day and my son ran his best race ever. He never reached that time again. I have thought of that day and of you so often through the years. You do not know me, but just know that your words, confidence, and risk taking has made me make huge changes in my life. Thank you for that. I admire your courage!! I also wanted you to know how proud of you, your dad has always been.”

Receiving this message made my week and changed my life. It told me to keep going and so I shall. I end this post with a special message to my friends, family, and followers: tell the people around you what they mean to you! If you have a meaningful experience with a stranger, let them know. We are here for reasons greater than what we think and our interactions with one another help to bring clarity regarding our strengths and the paths that we should travel in life. Our gifts are made to touch others in a special way. What we do or should be doing should be for reasons other than recognition or financial l gain. Here on Millennial Mom, I share my gift of writing and coaching with you. I encourage you to journey through life with purpose! And be true to yourself and that purpose. And last, I advise you not to show up to my funeral crying and carrying on about what I meant to you, if you never told me while I’m here… I’ll call you out lol. I hope someone enjoyed this write. Let me know your thoughts by dropping a comment. Stay tuned and until next time…

Xoxo,

Millennial Mom

Join B.L.T.: Bree Learning with Tea

Have you learned about the latest project that “mini me” and I planned as part of expanding Millennial Mom from a blog to much more? Maybe you received our email newsletter yesterday and are coming here to learn more details; or you got an update that I published something new here on Millennial Mom and came to see what’s up. So, let’s get straight to business.

I have been blogging here on Millennial Mom for over two years now and have always known that I wanted MM to be much more than a blog. I wanted to somehow create opportunities for interaction with other moms and their children; new opportunities for families to experience some of the amazing things that my family has. So I have been thinking for sometime about where to start. I initially created a support group via Facebook in 2017 called Millennial Moms United but found it to be like pulling teeth getting moms to interact. I’ll one day continue building that support group but for now, I hope to build a network with like-minded mothers through my blog itself. Recently, I started debating whether or not to return to the working world after experiencing some financial setbacks. If I do, it will be one additional thing to juggle along with homeschooling Bree, maintaining my remote position, building my private practice, and simply finding time for my little family. I mentioned my thoughts to “mini me” and she commented “sometimes you have to think a little more mom”. She has always been against me working away from home and expressed her thoughts so eloquently in our recent conversation. She told me that she is “not interested in going back to old times” and “would rather us plan how to be more successful doing something we love and are good at”. I could not agree with her more! So we started brainstorming last Monday.  We decided not to start something that would consume more time than what we currently have, and instead agreed to continue something that we are already doing. The change we made simply added marketing what we already do, to other moms and children for them to enjoy. We spent several days exchanging ideas, creating plans, and drafting documents. What we have come up with is truly special to me because of this project’s purpose and benefit. Having the chance to collaborate with my daughter is even more special to me. The brief planning process really showed me Bree’s skills and knowledge base. She reminded me that I too can learn from her.

So, our newest baby is called “Join B.L.T.“.  With this project, I am offering students grades K-5 the opportunity to join Bree Learning with me, Tea as we Homeschool and Worldschool. SB: You may or may not know that my first name is Tanisha. So where does “Tea” come from you ask? Well, “Tea” is not only a reference to my nickname that is typically spelled T. But it also describes my desired approach to learning which encompasses relaxation, peace, pleasure, contentment, change, spiritual connection, and enlightenment. All of these things are what Tea actually signifies and they are in accord with our daily learning routine. We regularly start off our day with homemade ginger chai tea or black tea, followed by a meditation session for this reason. (We were recently gifted black tea infused with rose that I am unsure whether to brew or use as potpourri, but cant wait to try it). Now we hope to share our practices and love for natural and meaningful learning with someone new. “Join B.L.T.” will be offered in the U.S. in our home base areas (NYC and upstate NY) and wherever we travel starting this spring. We will launch this project internationally (offering families the opportunity to travel with us) starting in the Fall of 2019!

Here’s how Joining B.L.T. works:

First, a parent/student selects one of the following subjects to study during a learning session with me and Bree:

  • Math
  • Science
  • Writing
  • Reading
  • Social Studies
  • Music
  • Art
  • Physical education

Then, they select a date and time to join us. We will offer virtual learning sessions (via Skype, Facetime, and Whats App) to anyone interested in this opportunity, but who is outside of our area. Learning sessions are one hour each. Participants can learn with us for an hour or two, or three!  We commit to learning Monday to Sunday, 365 days a year, at all hours that we are awake! We will offer this opportunity Monday to Sunday between the hours of 8am and 4pm.

The fee for one in-person basic learning session (no travel/field trip/guest teacher) is $40 which includes a healthy meal/snack (parents will be required to provide information regarding their child’s(ren’s) dietary restrictions and allergies). Virtual sessions are $30. We learn greatly through travel and field trips and will extend this opportunity to guest learners as well. Pricing for learning sessions on such days will vary.

*** As a special offer, the first 10 guest learners to join us will be able to learn with us for 2 hours, in two different subject areas, for $40.

And those are the details of our latest project!

I share this post with you partially for Bree and I to begin finding new guest learners to join us. We are super excited for our first registrant and have prepared such a fun curriculum that we will use. More importantly, I’m sharing our efforts to show how life often times requires us to get creative and follow our own paths; not what was outlined for us by societal standards and expectations. Does this mean that I will not return to the work world as Bree has begged and pleaded for me not to do? At present I cannot say but I am open to doing so to get back on track financially and until my dream for Millennial Mom flourishes to where I want it to be. If you read my previous post, you’ll understand my latest commitment to changing things in my life that are uncomfortable. My focus is on self-improvement, improving relationships, and improving my business. “Join B.L.T.” is just one way that I am making a change in my life. Sound like something you’re interested in for your child(ren)? You can signup here.  Have questions? Read some FAQ below.

FAQ

Q: What is the purpose of this project?

A: To expose traditionally schooled children to alternative methods of learning; to provide my home-schooled child and others more social interaction; to aid parents who may need a break, want to fill in their child’s schedule with a new activity, or have a child who is struggling or lacking stimulation in a particular subject.

Q: What types of activities will guest learners be engaged in?

A: yoga, meditation, dance, cooking, horticulture, real life math, social muralism and painting, henna design, hiking, photography, fishing, cultural projects, and much much more.

Q: Who decides what guest learners study?

A: The guest learner in collaboration with myself and their parents as guides

Q: Where will in-person activities be hosted?

A: Location of activities will vary and we will provide a schedule of where we will be based monthly. If we are in your area, we can come to your home or meet at a meetup location which includes parks, markets, libraries, museums, etc.

Q: Do parents need to stay with their child for the duration of a learning session?

A: Yes, until both the parent and guest learner are comfortable in the relationship

Q: Are you a certified teacher?

A: No, I am a homeschooling parent and therapist by profession. I follow all guidelines outlined by New York State to homeschool my child and offer this opportunity as supplemental education not intended to replace other accepted methods of education.

Have further questions? Feel free to comment below or email me at tanishagray20@gmail.com